New Directions

You don't know what you have until it's gone. This is an old saying that I believe to be true. I have witnessed the actions of this saying time and time again. Now this saying does not just apply to lovers. This saying applies to all people and things. It is an expression to emphasize on the fact that, we as humans are ungrateful. People take most things for granted, and they always want something better. I personally know someone who perfectly fits this description, I will call him Mike. Mike is never happy with his life. Mike has a wonderful, beautiful, hard working wife and son who wants to be just like him. Mike goes from profession to profession, never finding his true calling. He buys big expensive items that only make him smile for a few days. Mike is always complaining about how nothing goes his way, he is so unappreciated, his wife's efforts to make him happy are never good enough and he doesn't own anything nice. Mike needs to open his eyes and take a good look around, because he has so many wonderful people and things in his life, and he is missing out on all of it. I fear that by the time Mike realizes all of the people and things he has, they will all be gone and it will be to late.

Superstitions

Superstitions and the people who believe them. When I think about superstitions I am reminded of my mother. I am unsure as to why she believed them so much, but she did. The one superstition of my mothers that I remember the most was, everyone dies in three's. What this means is, when one person dies two more people who were close to the deceased will soon die. Personally I don't believe that; however, I have witnessed it happen several times. For instance, two months before my mother died, her father passed away and my sister-in-laws mother was killed in a car accident.
Do superstitions really exist? I guess we will never really know. I think that superstitions exists for those who want them to. Its kind of like bad luck, if you believe you have it than you probably will.

The best way to study

Everyone has there own way of studying. I say that if you find a way to study that works for you that stick to it. I prefer to study in the comfort of my own home. I do have one studying tip that I believe is beneficial to all students regardless of their studying style. My tip is taking clear and accurate notes. There are about four actual note taking methods. One note taking method is not better that the other; unless, your notes end up coming out unclear and unhelpful. If this happens you need to explore other note taking methods and try them out until you find one that works for you. My personal favorite note taking method is the outline method. Now the outline method is a very common note taking method because it is the most commonly known; however, it is not the easiest note taking method. So my suggestion for all students would be for them to explore other note taking methods, and chose one that works for them. Once I learned how to take clear and accurate notes my study time was almost cut in half.

My Town

Paradise, California is a calm and peaceful place to live. Before I moved to Paradise I lived in Santa Rosa, California. Santa Rosa is a busy fast paced environment were everyone is always in a hurry. When I lived in Santa Rosa I remember sleeping with a fan on and a pillow over my head so I wouldn't have to listen to all of the outside noise. These days when I go to bed it is so quite that I can hear every little noise my house makes. Paradise also has that beautiful mountain look to it. I love being able to sit on my porch and gaze at all of the lovely trees and flowers, doing so makes me feel relaxed and calm. Many things in my town are beginning to change and it not necessarily in a good way. I like small town with their little businesses, I love the fact the small town have lower crime rates. Paradise is growing a little more every year, with all of its major business and companies. I believe that if people need to go to a major business or store; then, they can go down to Chico. I just don't understand why the economy wants to eliminate every small town on the face of the earth.
I will probably continue to live in Paradise for some years to come; however, once the noise comes I will go to a new quite destination, and I will call it home.

happieness

My life and the people in it make me happy. If I am ever unhappy it is only because I have a temporary problem that I have yet to solve or fix. I truly believe that if someone is unhappy with their life than they need to change it. Our lives are what we make them. Often times it is extremely difficult to fess up to our poor life style choices. Know body wants to admit that they are miserable because they made some wrong decision in their life that put them where they are. Instead they would rather blame other people for their misfortunes, because that way they can sit around feeling sorry for themselves. Personally I say "No!" I refuse to sit around waisting my life waiting for someone to come along and fix it. If that is what one chooses to do they will be sitting around and waiting for the rest of their miserable life. Our lives our what we make them, and considering we only get one I say why not make it a happy one.

Music

I love many different types of music. I enjoy listening to rock, heavy metal, country, hip hop, oldies, alternative and some jazz. My mood is how I chose what music to listen to. Lately I have been listening to a lot of country and 80's music. I guess I have been feeling a little overwhelmed lately with school and work, so listening to country and classic 80's music makes me feel relaxed. When I am sad I don't listen to depressing music like most people do; instead, I listen to music with a heavy beat and a spirit lifting rhythm. I hate feeling bad, and listening to depressing music when you are feeling down only makes one feel worse. Listening to varieties of music is a great way to lift ones spirit, celebrate, remember, socialize or just relax.

One Man's Kid's

2. I know exactly why Daniel Meier enjoys working with kids. I know because I too love working with kids. My favorite part about working with kid's is being included in their joy when they do something for the first time, or when they finally master a skill they have been working on for weeks. It is such an honored felling when a child comes up to you and says " Teacher come see what I can do!" Just knowing that out of everyone in the school yard that child has chosen you to share his/her special joy with is so rewarding. Working with children is also amazing. Know matter how many times you have taught and watched a child learn the alphabet or write their name it is a new amazement every time. I believe there are other reasons Daniel enjoys being a teacher. Being a teacher is not just teaching knowledge to children. It is being someone the children can count on. There are so many children who have nobody they can trust and depend on. There my not be much a teacher can do about a child's home life, but there is something they can do about their school life. For many children school is the only place they feel safe or cared about. I believe that Daniel Meier knows about this, and that he wants to be there as much as he can for the children who need him. Being a teacher is not about the money its about the difference you make in each child's life.

My summer plans.

I have a few plans for the summer that I am looking forward to. I will still be working full-time and attending one summer class; however, this is not the part I am exited about. As soon as this school semester ends I will begin my home improvements. I am going to start with my sons room by getting ride of all the toys he never plays with, but cant seem to get ride of on his own. Next, my son and I will be going to a Furniture Store to pick out his new bed. Once his room is finished I will begin working on the rest of my house and yard. I am also exited about our yearly camping trips. Every summer we go camping at least two times; although, I would love to go camping more often. My favorite place to go camping is in Bodega Bay at the dunes. I love it there because it is next to the beach and the entire camp ground is covered in sand. The insect problem seems to be minimal there as well. My sons birthday is also in the summer, so I will be doing some party planning for that. I had already made plans for his party almost a year ago. I had planned to take him to Disney Land because my sister lives in L.A. so we would also get to visit with her and her family. I informed my son of this wonderful news thinking he would be ecstatic. My son began to get emotional because he wanted a big party at home with all of his friends. It was so cute because he seemed to think I was going to make him go to Disney Land no matter what. I began to laugh a little and I consoled him by telling him we didn't have to go, and that if he wanted to stay home and have a big party than that is what we will do. So, that is my exiting summer to come.

Difficult Decision

Through out my life I have made many difficult decisions, but that is all in the past. In the present I make difficult decisions every day, and maybe the most difficult. Every day make the decision to allow my son to grow up a little more each day. A large piece of my heart and body want to cradle him in my arms and protect him from every little thing that might hurt him. I want him to stay Innocent forever so he may never know hate, sadness, shame or any other challenge life presents. The other part of me knows that if I never let him learn by skinning a knee, getting his feelings hurt or learning a new bad word he will never make it through life and will only have me to blame for his sadness. Difficult decisions present themselves to all of us on a daily basis and there will never be just one. In the end the only thing that matters is weather or not we made the right decision.

Pet's

If I could have any pet in the world what would it be? That is the question. I however am not fond of having pets. The only pets I have are fish and that is because they don't leave hair, vomit or dropping around the house. Pets are consistently leaving messes for us to clean up. Personally I think I have enough to do already and I don't need any extra help. Plus my son has sever animal allergy's. If animals were cleaner and easier to care for I would want a dog. Yes I know dogs are a typical house hold pet. However I believe that they are the best pet you can have. Dogs are great! Dogs make great companions and great play mates for children. So maybe someday when I have more time and room I will get a dog.

What I am most afraid of.

I don't like to be crowded by people. Once I was shopping in Winco and found myself trapped in the middle of an aisle. I immediately began to panic. Next thing I new I was screaming at anyone who was in my way telling them to move. I felt like I had no control over the way I felt. All I new was that I was trapped by people and I had to get out right then and there or I was going to start shoving people out of my way. Luckily my screaming freaked everyone out and they all gladly moved. That was a bad experience for me because I never really new that I was claustrophobic. I have found that it is worse for me to be trapped by people rather than objects. That is why I always sit at the end of a table and never in the middle.

How I would like to be remembered

I have no interest in people who do not know me remembering me when I die. I do however want my loved ones to remember me. I want to be remembered for who I am not what others wanted me to be. I know I only have one life to live and that is why I do my best to be a sweet, understanding and loving daughter, mother, sister and friend. I am not perfect, I continually make mistakes that I want to be forgiven not forgotten. Often times when one passes the people who are left behind try to only remember what they liked or loved about the person. Sometimes they even create false memories about the one who is gone purely out of grief or even guilt. Know one wants to think badly about someone who is no longer living and they shouldn't without good reasons. However you must remember everything about the person or else your memories become false. I don't want that, I want to truly and honestly be remembered for who I was.

Sense of Smell

Every season has its own smell. My favorite season with all of its beautiful smells is spring. I love everything about spring, especially its smells. I don't need a calendar to let me know spring is coming, I can smell it in the soft cool breeze. I smell the sweet nectar that lies inside of tiny blossoms on the apple trees. I smell the green grass that is beginning to peak above the earth. I can even smell the warm air that is yet to come. Spring has a smell no other season has, it is a gentle smell of everything the earth produces. It is the flowers, the trees and the grass. The smell of spring makes me imagine children laughing and running through tall blades of grass. I imagine families sitting outside enjoying the warm air and its perfect cool breeze talking about nothing while they barbecue, drink and have the most fun they have had in long time. The smells of spring also bring up precious memories from my childhood. I remember how the sun would stay up longer and I would play outside enjoying every extra moment of the daylight. I remember planting the most beautiful flowers with my mother. I remember lying in a bush of sweet pea flowers, they were my favorite. When it all comes down to it, the lovely smells of spring make me fell young, happy and free.

3 things I would bring to a deserted island.

If I had to go to a deserted island and could only bring three things I would bring a tent, a survival kit and a knife. The tent is of course for me to sleep in. The survival kit is another choice of mine because inside of the survival kit there are many useful things, like a blanket, matches, food, water and first aid. The knife for many things as well, like cutting up an animal if my food supply should run short. The knife could also be used to cut things down for extra shelter, I may even need the knife to protect myself. Deserted islands are never really deserted.

The war within

1. Finding out that my mother had cancer was the most surprising news I have ever received. I was literally in shock. I remember talking to my eldest brother over the phone wishing him a happy birthday. Sadly there was nothing happy about this day, he had just found out about the cancer and told me about it after I had wished him a happy birthday. I don't remember the conversation going much further. I remember sitting in silence felling like a small and confused child. My mother was my hero, so for me to accept the fact that she was going to die was inconceivable. Honestly I don't remember felling much of anything except for confusion. No fear, no pain, or no sadness, at least not at that moment. At that moment I was physically and emotionally numb. If it wasn't for my son I my have never made it out of the black hole I was quickly falling into. I can not recall how long I sat there felling completely paralyzed, however, as soon as my son touched my leg and said "momma" in his sweet little voice I looked at him, I picked him up, I held him in my arms and quietly began to cry.

Describe a perfect weather day...

A perfect weather day to me is a lot of snow. I love it when there is snow all over and it is still falling from the sky. The first thing I would do on a day like this is make a warm drink, sit on my porch and watch the snow fall. I can sit in silence watching the snow fall for hours. Next my son and I would have to build a snow man of course. After are snow man is built and we have defrosted we would have to break out the sled. Sledding is great fun for children of all ages. In between sledding we would have a snow ball fight because you can't have snow all around you and not throw any of it. When we are finished we will go in the house to warm up and have some dinner. After dinner we would probably play a board game next to a lantern because the electricity has gone out. On my perfect weather day I would live in a house with a fire place so not having electricity isn't a problem. The thing I love the most about snow days is the true quality time I get to have with my son.

What is Worth Fighting for.....

Everything I believe in is worth fighting for is worth fighting for. Everyone I love is worth fighting for. My rights are worth fighting for.

What's Your Definition of Love?

I think that love is very difficult to define. Love comes in many forms. You could love your parents, your siblings, your friends, your children, or your lover. Your love for each of these people are different. Love is a feeling and something we all need. Love is what you make it and that is why it can not be defined. Know one is the same and that is why know body loves the same.

Discribe Someone Close to You......

Kelsi is sweet, patient, generous, and considerate. Kelsi is also strong and determined when it comes to something she believes in. Kelsi knows what she wants out of life and she knows who she is. When she wants something she goes after it and doesn't stop until she gets it. What I admire the most about Kelsi is that she has no fear about being herself. I believe that the majority of the population are try to be something or someone they are not. The reason people do this is because they are afraid that they will not be excepted. When people do this it is impossible to really get to know them. I admire Kelsi for her determination to keep her family together. When I say her family I mean her whole family, not just her husband and son. Kelsi and her husband go above and beyond to plan family get together, because they know if they don't, nobody will and they know how important family is. I have many friends over the years but I never new what a true friend was until I met Kelsi.

Journal#1

What can you do to get the most out of you'r time out of Butte College?
I believe in a few easy steps in getting the most out of my time at the Butte College. First, I have to want to be here. Second, I must be willing to learn. Third, I must know how to manage my time. I do want to be here, I am willing to learn and I know how to manage my time. I believe that if you are not serious about doing something then you might as well not waist your time. I am here because I want to learn, I am facinated by children. I believe you can always learn something new and I think that's really cool. For every semester I have attended at the Butte College I have been able to walk away with new knowledge. For me, gaining knowledge is getting the most out of my time here at the Butte College.