Difficult Decision

Through out my life I have made many difficult decisions, but that is all in the past. In the present I make difficult decisions every day, and maybe the most difficult. Every day make the decision to allow my son to grow up a little more each day. A large piece of my heart and body want to cradle him in my arms and protect him from every little thing that might hurt him. I want him to stay Innocent forever so he may never know hate, sadness, shame or any other challenge life presents. The other part of me knows that if I never let him learn by skinning a knee, getting his feelings hurt or learning a new bad word he will never make it through life and will only have me to blame for his sadness. Difficult decisions present themselves to all of us on a daily basis and there will never be just one. In the end the only thing that matters is weather or not we made the right decision.

Pet's

If I could have any pet in the world what would it be? That is the question. I however am not fond of having pets. The only pets I have are fish and that is because they don't leave hair, vomit or dropping around the house. Pets are consistently leaving messes for us to clean up. Personally I think I have enough to do already and I don't need any extra help. Plus my son has sever animal allergy's. If animals were cleaner and easier to care for I would want a dog. Yes I know dogs are a typical house hold pet. However I believe that they are the best pet you can have. Dogs are great! Dogs make great companions and great play mates for children. So maybe someday when I have more time and room I will get a dog.

What I am most afraid of.

I don't like to be crowded by people. Once I was shopping in Winco and found myself trapped in the middle of an aisle. I immediately began to panic. Next thing I new I was screaming at anyone who was in my way telling them to move. I felt like I had no control over the way I felt. All I new was that I was trapped by people and I had to get out right then and there or I was going to start shoving people out of my way. Luckily my screaming freaked everyone out and they all gladly moved. That was a bad experience for me because I never really new that I was claustrophobic. I have found that it is worse for me to be trapped by people rather than objects. That is why I always sit at the end of a table and never in the middle.

How I would like to be remembered

I have no interest in people who do not know me remembering me when I die. I do however want my loved ones to remember me. I want to be remembered for who I am not what others wanted me to be. I know I only have one life to live and that is why I do my best to be a sweet, understanding and loving daughter, mother, sister and friend. I am not perfect, I continually make mistakes that I want to be forgiven not forgotten. Often times when one passes the people who are left behind try to only remember what they liked or loved about the person. Sometimes they even create false memories about the one who is gone purely out of grief or even guilt. Know one wants to think badly about someone who is no longer living and they shouldn't without good reasons. However you must remember everything about the person or else your memories become false. I don't want that, I want to truly and honestly be remembered for who I was.

Sense of Smell

Every season has its own smell. My favorite season with all of its beautiful smells is spring. I love everything about spring, especially its smells. I don't need a calendar to let me know spring is coming, I can smell it in the soft cool breeze. I smell the sweet nectar that lies inside of tiny blossoms on the apple trees. I smell the green grass that is beginning to peak above the earth. I can even smell the warm air that is yet to come. Spring has a smell no other season has, it is a gentle smell of everything the earth produces. It is the flowers, the trees and the grass. The smell of spring makes me imagine children laughing and running through tall blades of grass. I imagine families sitting outside enjoying the warm air and its perfect cool breeze talking about nothing while they barbecue, drink and have the most fun they have had in long time. The smells of spring also bring up precious memories from my childhood. I remember how the sun would stay up longer and I would play outside enjoying every extra moment of the daylight. I remember planting the most beautiful flowers with my mother. I remember lying in a bush of sweet pea flowers, they were my favorite. When it all comes down to it, the lovely smells of spring make me fell young, happy and free.

3 things I would bring to a deserted island.

If I had to go to a deserted island and could only bring three things I would bring a tent, a survival kit and a knife. The tent is of course for me to sleep in. The survival kit is another choice of mine because inside of the survival kit there are many useful things, like a blanket, matches, food, water and first aid. The knife for many things as well, like cutting up an animal if my food supply should run short. The knife could also be used to cut things down for extra shelter, I may even need the knife to protect myself. Deserted islands are never really deserted.